the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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