let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
