So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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