So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
