My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
