Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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