This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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