I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
