His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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