doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
