Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
