i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it glows. i had to have it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
