Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
