Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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