around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
