hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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