Plan B is the new Plan A
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
