Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize