Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
