so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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