We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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