So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize