google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
