U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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