I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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