I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
