That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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