Your face is a jimmy john
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
