My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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