I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
