Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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