who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
