Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
