I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
