Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
