What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
