Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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