Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this boner is exhausting
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
