Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
