debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
