first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Maybe he injected his testicle?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They are going to name an STD after you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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