just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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