Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
