But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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