this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
