You're so nebulous sometimes
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
