A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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