I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
