So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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