hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
