having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
