we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
