She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
