Your dad touched me again.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
