YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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