I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
