I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize