The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
