You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
