My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize