Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
