Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
