i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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