k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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