An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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