Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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