I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
