Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
pray to the hookup gods
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