Can i not drive my cunt home
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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