I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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