I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
