someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize