Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
