come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize