Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
