just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
