You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
