what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
