i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
