It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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